Giving and Receiving Feedback
I have taught graduate students in social work off and on for two decades. One advantage that I have with them that I don’t have with dance students is that I can take the first hour and set expectations around giving and receiving feedback. In a dance class, you can talk (maybe) 5 min before everyone gets antsy. And with good reason, it is a dance class! But being open to feedback, knowing how to thankfully and graciously accept it, and being savvy about evaluating the merit of the feedback, is just as important for a dance student as it is for a graduate student.
Because I teach graduate students, I also know to back up what I say with social science research. I know that is tedious to include in a blog, so message me if you want my sources, but for now, just know that my suggestions are well-researched.
Research on Feedback
• Experts in their field (including advanced dancers) want to hear how they can improve, even if feedback is “negative”
• People still mastering a skill want praise
• The dilemma is that research shows that only praise (without critique) doesn’t improve performance
How to give good feedback
Think for a moment about the times you have been given feedback. You can probably identify some things that worked well and some things that did not. I imagine that your experience will align with these guidelines.
• Be specific, “when you turn with a Turkish, you lose your hip shimmy”
• Be immediate, while the details are fresh
• Tie feedback to goals, “I know one of your goals is to improve your shimmy, I see that you are dropping it when you turn using a Turkish, lets look at some ways to work on that”
• Ensure feedback is actionable, instead of “it just doesn’t make me excited to watch you dance” say “making occasional eye contact and smiling directly at an audience member is one way to engage the audience”
• Use encouraging words like “and” or “what if”, “what if we could make your shimmy look big enough for a large stage?”
• Ask if the person prefers feedback in private and respect that
Feedback is useful when it is given in the context of a trusting relationship, with care, with the intention to be helpful, and directly to the person. If you are talking about someone outside of their presence or not directly to them, it isn’t feedback, and it should not be mistaken as such. Saying negative things about someone is not constructive— it tears down trust and relationships. The result of well-delivered feedback is just the opposite.
Research on the feedback sandwich
Many of us have read about or been trained to do the “feedback sandwich” but it isn’t an effective way to give feedback. People don’t hear the positive because they are bracing for negative. Also, people only remember first and last parts of the conversation, so your feedback gets lost.
Instead:
• Remind people that you are giving them feedback because you have high expectations and are confident that they can reach them
• Remind people that you have really benefited from feedback before so you are trying to pay it forward
• Ask the person if they want the feedback before you start, ““I noticed a couple things and wondered if you’re interested in some feedback”
• Tell them what you like about something they are doing and then say “I would like it even more if…”
Accepting Feedback: in the moment
Accepting feedback can be very challenging. I generally do well with it unless I am upset about something else or really tired. Here are some tips for appreciating and maximizing the benefit you will get from the feedback you receive.
• Listen
• Resist the urge to prepare a response
• If you are feeling defensive, pause before responding
• Pause can be temporary or you can request to think about it and talk again later
• OK to ask for examples, OK to take notes
• Assume it is constructive unless proven otherwise
• Respect and thank the person giving feedback
• Avoid getting angry, making excuses, or being disrespectful
If people don’t give you feedback, maybe some self-reflection would be beneficial. Are you asking for feedback? Do you accept it gracefully? Do you make excuses or get angry? Is there something about your behavior that signals you are not open to hearing feedback?
Once you have received feedback, you have to evaluate it. If you are not sure if you agree, spend some time…
Reflecting on Feedback
• Survey trusted friends to get their opinions
• Decide if you want to make any changes based on the info you gathered
• If so, create a plan to make changes
Giving and receiving feedback is a challenging issue at all levels of dance. I would love to hear how you would expand on these tips! Are there strategies that have worked for you (on the giving or receiving end)?